TV

Setting: The television in our apt had been on for at least two hours just playing the screen saver. I was diligently doing my homework, but Joanna was hyper. As she is walking out of the living room, she dramatically turns to me and says, "Are you watching this?" At which point, I busted out laughing. Why would I be watching the TV screen saver? Really, Joanna?

Heavily Ever After

Freddy: Lawd I'm hongry!

Our friend from the Animal Kingdom

Ellen: I literally hurt from my neck to my hips.
Joanna: It must be hard being a giraffe.

Genetics

My goal is to have a child that looks white--Joanna

English

Setting: Flipping through channels and stopping on a Spanish channel. The soap opera is obviously being dubbed with another type of Spanish.
Trevor: Why can't they just speaked English?!
Ellen: Well, apparently you can't even "speaked" English.

Word Replacement

Me(about Joanna's car door): "It's just a dumb door!"
Joanna: "You're a dumb door with out the 'd' add... a 'w'... 'h'..."
...
later, Joanna: "Oh, yeah, an 'e'"

Bed time

Ellen: I love watching you in your bed.
Joanna: I know. I'm so spastic. First I stick my foot out, but then there's demons. Then I turn that way and there's a window...........