Word Replacement

Me(about Joanna's car door): "It's just a dumb door!"
Joanna: "You're a dumb door with out the 'd' add... a 'w'... 'h'..."
...
later, Joanna: "Oh, yeah, an 'e'"

Bed time

Ellen: I love watching you in your bed.
Joanna: I know. I'm so spastic. First I stick my foot out, but then there's demons. Then I turn that way and there's a window...........

Burned.

Trevor's facebook status: apparently has a weird shaped lip and a cell phone that looks like a skoal can
Ellen's comment: maybe that's why you don't have a gf....
Joanna's comment: Bazinga

Trevor's comment on Ellen's facebook wall: Your attitude is why your boyfriend will never tell you he loves you.

Epic burn.

Filters

Joanna: Ellen, apparently you don't know when insults come out of your mouth. That's bad.
Ellen: You can't get people filters, Joanna.
Joanna: There should be a Brita for people. I'm going to patent one.

Rude

Trevor & Joanna: Elle, be our friend, not our mom.

"Is it sucker punch or soccer punch?"
-Joanna

Movie analogy

Joanna: My curtain fell down on me during the night. Curtain rod and all! I swear, my life is like Final Destination everyday!

Normal

Joanna: Is he Irish? Oh, no wait, he's normal.

What?

Joanna: It's a goater.
Ellen/Trevor: Joanna, there's no such thing as a "goater."
Ellen: *sings the song from Sound of Music*
Joanna: See a "goater."
Ellen: I'm pretty sure it's "goat"
Joanna: Oh, I thought it was "goater" like a person who takes care of sheep but for goats. Or a waiter.

Style

Joanna: I could never be on The Bachelor. I would have to be the bachelorette. That's more my style.

Comfort

Ellen: Joanna, just a second ago you said, "Ellen, that is NOT okay!"
Joanna: Ellen, she's an oompa-loompa!

Curling

Trevor: It's like CSPAN only cooler!

Vienna

she would get the pirate ship because she's a... pirate ho-bag!
...
A WENCH!

-Joanna

NO! I will grab her if I want to!

-Ellen

hey!

Joanna: *clears throat* I think I just coughed up the Demon that possessed me.

scared

Joanna: Dang it! We tried to scare the Angel of Death! Epic FAIL!!!!

Hm

Trevor: I am more than willing to be a man whore.

Chinese

Joanna: I sure hope it's Chinese, otherwise we're screwdeled.

Purple nail polish

Joanna: Your finger nails are purple. You could pull off a Zombie outfit. Your hands look decrepit. Especially when you type.

Sonic Girl

"they're both 3.02"
"ok, here you go"
"which one's which?"

Observation

Joanna: Hey! I have a fire extinguisher!

Commercials

Joanna: There is a reason dogs don't have people teeth.

The Bachelor

Joanna: I would ruin my boots for him.

Wow.

Joanna: If I got mauled in the neck I would definitely want it to scar.

Politics

Joanna: I know her, who is that?

Me: Michelle Obama...

Later she says, "I knew that wasn't Condalisa Rice because there was no gap! "

Joanna's Doors

"EFFING CLOSET DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

--Joanna

Only you, Ellen!

Teacher: "You will not be tested on this..."

Ellen: "Alright, let me go back to planning my wedding"

Trevor: I feel bad saying "crap" because I'm not allowed to say that.

Trevor

Trevor: Nothing is allowed to go up my shorts.